


Domestically Farrell

by CapuletCunt



Category: Diary of a Wimpy Kid Series - Jeff Kinney
Genre: Bad Parenting, Developing Relationship, F/M, Family, Growing Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:01:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23994169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CapuletCunt/pseuds/CapuletCunt
Summary: Rodrick Heffley is generally perceived to be unintelligent and uncultured by the majority of the people who know him, including his family and peers. But, the person who holds the lowest opinion of him   is Plainview's resident Poindexter, Penelope Farrell, eldest daughter of the high brow, Farrell family.After being forced into enduring each other's company, Both parties conclude that looks are deceiving, and small town gossip isn't all it's cracked up to be.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	Domestically Farrell

**Author's Note:**

> Test Chapter and Prologue. Let me know what you think and give me some feedback. I've seen this idea tossed around on tumblr and I have a big heart for a big nerd falling inlove with big moron so let's see how this goes.
> 
> Also, personal HC is that Rodrick looks like Sid from toy story as a kid cuz he's an ugly bitch.

_That day wasn't really the best day to run away. It was late August, it had just finished raining, and it was going to get dark soon. But, it didn't really matter. All Rodrick had to do was walk around the block once and then return home. Greg was five, and to all five year olds, ten minutes felt like ten days. All he really had to do was make him feel bad enough to forget that he saw him break dad's model ship._

_As he turned the corner, he immediately recognized a girl walking her bike on the other side of the street, heading in the opposite direction._

_His instincts told him to make a break for it or jump in a bush, but he remained steadfast._

_At first, she didn't seem to take notice of him. But as he got closer and more anxious, of course, she noticed him._

**_Rodrick had a firm belief that she could smell fear._ **

_She stopped right in her tracks, roughly ten feet ahead of him and squinted hard, trying to decipher his appearance._

_Rodrick just kept walking, hoping she wouldn't recognize him. Though, the closer she got, the more her own disheveled appearance became apparent to him._

_Very quickly, Rodrick realized the glasses the girl usually wore were sitting on her face in a strange position. As if they were broken or the frame was loose, possibly obscuring her vision._

_Her dress tights were ripped on one knee and she seemed to be bleeding pretty badly from that same spot. Her bright, canary-yellow, sundress was soaked and covered in grime. And her hair was the biggest, frizziest, mess he'd ever seen._

_This was not how the proper, immaculate girl he had gone to school with for nearly six years typically presented herself._

_"Hey! Is that Icky Ricky!?" She finally shouted, loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear. His plan to keep walking and ignore her had backfired, as all he did was get closer, allowing her to see his face clearer._

_Ricky wasn't his nickname. Nobody called him that, not even his own mother._

_Nobody...except for Penny Farrell._

_"That's not my name, stupid!" Was all he could muster up at first._

_"Oh man! It is you!" She said, almost sounding thrilled. Rodrick prayed that she would just suddenly forget where she was and walk away. Of course, she didn't. She looked both ways down the street and wheeled her bike over towards him._

_Upon closer examination, it appeared that the front tire of the bike had a massive tear and indeed, the frame of her glasses **were** broken and her left lense was cracked. _

_"You look terrible." He began, feeling a bit of genuine concern before shaking it off like a wet dog. "Well, more than usual."_

_All she did was roll her eyes._

_"What happened? Did the trolls finally come and beat you up for stealing their look."_

_"Not yet." She said flatly, but Rodrick could pick up a hint of irritation in her composure._

_"I was riding my bike and wiped out a few blocks over. I need to get back home before my dad does." Her volume depleted as she uttered the second sentence, making Rodrick flinch for a second. He felt some semblance of sympathy._

_She was probably about to get into trouble for something she wasn't supposed to be doing as well. He could hear it in her voice._

**_Whatever. It wasn't his problem. If she wasn't smart enough to blame things on her bratty little sister, that was her fault!_ **

_"That's pretty stupid. You're pretty stupid for doing that." He omitted from his mind and from the conversation that he often rode his bike in the rain._

_His insult didn't seem to bother her as she just shrugged and continued to speak._

_"What are **you** doing, Rodrick Heffley,?" She said, using his real name for a change. _

_"Running away." He said a little bit too confidently._

_"What?! Why?! Where are you gonna go?!" Her cool exterior broke and it sent a warm feeling of satisfaction through Rodrick's evil little heart._

_"I'm going around the block and then right back home." He said, revealing his mastermind plot._

_Her worried expression faded into an angry one and, for a second, Rodrick was certain he was going to get pushed into the mud._

_"That's not running away! That's ridiculous!" Penny finally said, completely unamused._

_"Well yeah, doofus. I'm not running away for real." He said. He began to walk away again, not really wanting to be in arms reach of her. Just in case she did decide that he would look alot better with mud on his face._

_"I'm just trying to scare my little brother." He said casually._

_"That's terrible." He could feel the disappointment in her voice._

**_Man. What's up with girls and their seemingly godsend ability to make you feel guilty about literally EVERYTHING._ **

_He stopped and turned to face her, now a good distance out of the 'Potential Mud-shoving' zone._

_"Whatzit to ya?"_

_"I just think it's absurd and cruel." She said as she pointed her nose up to the sky._

_Rodrick didn't really know what the word 'absurd' meant. But, he did know that she was trying to make him feel stupid on purpose._

_"It's actually genius and very funny." He stated, very matter-of-factly. "You're just jealous you're not smart enough to come up with something like that."_

_"I think I'd need to missing a portion of my prefrontal cortex to come up with a plan that dumb."_

**_There she goes. More gibberish for the sole purpose of confusing him and making him feel bad._ **

_Rodrick got more and more frustrated as he tried to piece together a comeback that didn't make him look like a moron. His words got harsher and more personal the longer he spoke._

_"You're just mad 'cuz now you have to go home and tell your dad you were stupid enough to get hurt riding your bike in the rain. Your sister is gonna laugh at you so much when you get home!"_

_He watched, satisfied as Penny's cocky smirk fell into a frown._

_This frown wasn't really the sour, unamused expression he had been so used to seeing on her ugly face. It was sad and almost worried-looking._

_Rodrick had been making girls cry since kindergarten, it wasn't really anything new to him. And Penny was one of the few girls he knew who actually deserved to cry. She was just as mean as him. Meaner, even._

**_She's the one who called him that stupid nickname first!_ **

_Still, he felt a little bit of guilt as her face scrunched up and he could tell she was attempting not to cry._

_She didn't say anything back. She didn't drop her bike and chase him down the street like she did in the 2nd grade when he put a bug in her hair. She didn't shove him in the mud or make him drink the water that had collected in the curb._

_She just turned away from him and kept walking._

_Rodrick was somehow both elated and confused. He'd never said something that mean to Penny and came out of it unscathed. Whether it be mentally, emotionally or physically._

_But this time she just left him alone, like he hadn't said anything at all._

_Suddenly, victory was not so sweet. He felt insulted._

**_If she was gonna act all high and mighty all the time, she doesn't just get to walk away and ignore it when someone finally knocks her down a peg!_ **

_Of course, he had to open up his fat mouth again to try to provoke a response._

_"Where ya goin' , Farrell!" He shouted, and was ignored once again._

_"Hey! I'm talking to you! What? Did I make you cry? Are you gonna go home and cry to your mommy? You big cry baby!" He continued shouting in her direction, almost **daring** her to come chase him down. _

_She did respond that time, but it wasn't what he wanted to hear._

_"I need to get home before my dad does." she repeated. He almost didn't hear her because she said it so quietly and she was still moving further and further away._

_"Stupid." He brushed her off after that._

**_If she wanted to be a pussy and go home and cry about him to her dad she could do that all she wanted_ ** _._

_Rodrick finished his lap five minutes past what_ _he had originally intended. He had pulled this stunt on Greg a few times before and it had been the longest he had actually left the house. Greg would always cry, forgive him, and beg him never to leave again but this time his breakdown was far more dramatic._

_"Rodrick!"_

_A heavy five year old flung himself at his older brother and nearly knocked them both over as he re-entered the house._

_Greg desperately tried to articulate some kind of apology. Though, Rodrick really couldn't make out any of it as his head was buried in his shirt and most of the sounds coming out of his mouth were sobs and hiccups._

_Rodrick sighed and hugged his little brother back. Laying his hand on the back of his head and shushing him, trying to get him to relax._

**_Okay, yeah, maybe this was a little mean..._ **

**_But it wouldn't have taken as long if Penny would've just shut her trap and kept walking._ **

_At the same time, his mother came barreling down the stairs. Mom-mode in full swing. Ready to scold someone and comfort a crying child._

_Susan was pleasantly surprised when she found her boys hugging._

_Usually when she heard sobbing this loud she would find Greg on the wrong end of Rodrick's bad temper. She'd find his things destroyed or he would be sitting on the ground and sobbing. Rodrick would make up a million excuses about it being an accident before she'd lecture him and send him away._

_Rodrick was not a particularly affectionate child. He hadn't really let her touch his hair since the last time he had it shaved. He claimed he was "too old" for that now. And the only time he hugged his little brother was during family photos or when he knew their parents were watching. So, to catch him trying to desperately to console his little brother of his own volition was like a miracle sent from above._

_Rodrick noticed too late that his mother was standing there, watching him willingly hug Greg._

_Rodrick yanked his hand away from Greg, mimicking the reaction someone might have after touching a hot stove. However, Greg didn't fall to the ground. He held on just as tight, worried Rodrick would disappear again if he let go._

_"He won't let go." Rodrick said to his mother, feigning annoyance._

_Susan smiled. "What happened?" She asked and she approached her boys cautiously._

_"I went outside for fifteen minutes and when I came back he jumped me." Rodrick lied, knowing full well Greg wasn't in the right emotional state to rat him out._

_This backfired as Mrs. Heffley slowed her attempt to pry Greg off of him. Now looking at Rodrick sternly, ready to interrogate him._

_"Where did you go? Why didn't you let me know before you left?"_

_"I went to go talk to a friend!" He spat out quickly, remembering Penny Farrell and conjuring up the perfect alibi._

_Of course, he certainly didn't think of her as a friend. And he was sure the feeling was mutual but his mom didn't have to know that._

_"Why are you wearing your backpack?" She said, suspiciously. She was finally able to pry Greg off of him, still kicking and screaming, of course. She set the child down, but held his hand and pet his head, trying to soothe._

_There wasn't really anything in the backpack but a pack of Oreos and a can of soda that was probably too shaken to drink. He shoved them in there to make it appear to Greg that he really was running away. Of course, no human, let alone, a skinny, eleven year old boy would get any nourishment out of that. But, Greg didn't understand that_

_"I wanted to bring her a snack." He said, slouching out of the straps and showing her the contents of the bag._

_It was as if uttering the pronoun "her" had flipped a switch in Susan Heffley's brain, and it quite was visible to Rodrick._

_Regret filled him instantly as his mother began to fire off more questions that were completely unrelated to the previous conversation._

_"A girl friend? Like a friend that's a girl? Is she nice? What's her name? Where does she live? Do I know her? Oh! Maybe I can call her parents and she could come over! She should come over and have dinner with us sometime. Is that why you didn't tell me where you were going? Oh hunny, you don't have to lie to me! You can let me know if you-"_

_"Uhm actually Mom... we got into a big fight." He cut her off. Technically, that was the truth that time. Granted, the fight they had gotten into wasn't nearly as big as it could've been._

_"Oh." She sounded baffled. "Why?"_

_"Um...she just...called me a name I didn't like, and I told her she was stupid." He tried to minimize the fight a bit. He knew his mom knew Mrs. Farrell, they were both on the PTA._

_"What's this girl's name, Rodrick?" She asked, a strange mixture of disappointment and confusion laced in her voice._

**_There it was. He did it. He finally lied his way into a corner._ **

_"It's Penelope Farrell." He sighed. As soon as the words left his mouth, his mother's face filled with a shock that he hadn't quite expected._

_"One of Catherine Farrell's daughters? The older one?" She asked and he nodded, swallowing back some fear._

**_Great. Now he was gonna have to go and apologize to her and pretend to be friends or something._ **

_"That's strange. The Farrell girls seem so sweet. Though, I've never met the older one." She says, almost talking to herself._

_"Come to think of it, Catherine doesn't mention Penny too frequently. Most of the conversations about her kids are about Patty. She loves that little girl."_

_Greg's hiccups finally seemed to die down a bit. He looked up at his mother, listening to all the names she said, seemingly confused but still attentive._

_"It's not that big of a deal mom. She's probably already forgotten about it. I'll even apologize when school starts again."_

_Susan finally sighed and looked down at Greg, wiping away a few of his tears._

_"I still might make a phone call to Cathy later, see what she thinks."_

_Rodrick didn't say anything, he just grunted and walked around his family, making a beeline for the stairs._

_He spent all night, waiting with baited breath for his mother to call him down to get on the phone and apologize to Penny._

_But it didn't happen that night. It didn't happen after dinner. It didn't happen the next morning. And it didn't even happen the day after that._

_Eventually, they went back to school and Penny certainly didn't apologize or ask for an apology. She didn't mention anything about his mom calling hers. Their mutual bullying continued as per usual. The whole event was completely forgotten._

_At some point, Rodrick just assumed his mom had forgotten to call Mrs. Farrell all together._

But she didn't.

  
  
  



End file.
